Ootastic: PCOS in pictures

June 28, 2014

Oxbridge Dalek

Filed under: cambridge, SciFi, TV — ootastic @ 9:11 pm

Daleks in Cambridge

June 26, 2014

30 Film Females: Aliens (1986)

Filed under: 30 Film Females — ootastic @ 12:45 pm

The tagline for Aliens reads “This time it’s war”, but I think it should end …”warm and fuzzy”. Yes, many soldiers die a horrible extraterrestrial death, but ultimately the film concerns a bereaved mother (Ripley) facing off a fecund matriarch (the Xenomorph Queen). Everyone can remember “Get away from her, you bitch”, but the more poignant moment occurs earlier in the film when Ellen Ripley, touchingly underplayed by Sigourney Weaver, discovers that her daughter is dead: “I promised her I’d be home for her birthday.”

I was vaguely disappointed at Easter not to receive this Splat Egg from Hotel Chocolat, as it reminds me of the Ovomorph/Facehugger from Aliens.  I promise to include some actual original artwork soon!

Honourable mentions for 1986: more body-horror with Geena Davis (again) as journalist/scientist’s muse in The Fly.  Also, Jennifer Connelly resisting David Bowie’s trousers in Labyrinth.



Splat Egg

June 23, 2014

Daft things toddlers do

Filed under: toddler — ootastic @ 2:46 pm

I wrote this before seeing this comic, but think it’s an apt reponse. I’ve no idea how it got this font, though!

1. Eat their own poo
2. Play with their own vomit
3. Dribble in mummy's mouth
4. Applaud their own burps
5. Bite Daddy's nose
6. Eat grass/bugs/etc
7. Headbutt the floor
8. Dive off the sofa
9. Crawl into walls
10. Cry/laugh when mummy sneezes
11. Torture their cuddly toys
12. Headbang to the Eastenders theme tune

June 19, 2014

30 Film Females: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Filed under: 30 Film Females — ootastic @ 4:29 pm

Wikipedia describes 10 Things I Hate About You – an adaptation of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew – as a teen-romantic comedy, which goes against my usual viewing habits.  However, I have fond memories of Julia Stiles as the no-nonsense Kat running rings around a pre-fame Heath Ledger (“Why should I live up to other people’s expectations instead of my own? “). The film also features an adolescent Joe Gordon Levitt (one of my current favourite actors), the brilliant Allison Janney (who will likely pop up elsewhere in this blog series), and Larry Miller’s sardonically overprotective single father. Although much of the dialogue revolves around teen dating angst, 10 Things I Hate About You apparently does pass the Bechdel test.  Incidentally, Julie Stiles also stars in another screen Shakespeare, a version of Othello called simply O.  A few years ago I was challenged to write a short story using only one vowel and this is the result.

After musing various ideas to celebrate this film – a pair of hands (a total of 10 fingers), green bottles on a wall (underage drinking?) and a series of kisses (represented by the letter “X”) – I took inspiration from the film’s titular list and settled upon a modification of the ten commandments pictured below (apologies for offending any religious sensibilities).  To save you from my terrible handwriting this image has been computer generated using a handy clip-art scroll and my chosen font “Papyrus” (naturally).  Note that some of these commandments may be autobiographical!

Honourable mentions for 1999: Annette Benning’s aspiring realtor in American Beauty and Hilary Swank’s cross-dressing loner in Boys Don’t Cry.



June 12, 2014


Filed under: fiction — ootastic @ 4:23 pm

Clock tolls; Gordon jolts. So soon? Bolts down chow; grooms brow; dons socks, boots. Zooms off. Cold frost, low moon glows, Yoko Ono croons on CD. Crowds downtown. To, fro. Stop, go. Bollocks! No good, too slow. Honks horn. Go now! Brown Volvo follows…

North London, school front. Slows to smooth stop. Yoof looms, blocks door; downs grog, drowns sorrows. Tom: common, crook, goon.
“Got dosh?”
Gordon frowns.
Dog growls.
“No…now. Two ton.”
Bold words from Gordon:
“Sod off.”
Shots. World rocks, stops. Gordon looks down, swoons. Blood pools, clogs. Shock.
“Oh, god.”

“Good Lord.”
Doctor loops cord, knots. Blood slops on gown. Lots of blood. Soon stops work.
“Mown down?”
PC nods.
“Torn colon. No donors. Too old.”
PC’s boss broods. Whoops.
“So long.”
Doctor clocks off. Good old boy; now for golf.

Cool morn, soon noon. Own room (postcode lotto). Rom com on TV. Gordon’s son sobs, drools whorls of snot.
“Shhh, now…”
John bops Gordon on foot.
Food shows. Gordon rolls. Spoons hot broth, forks pork chop.
“No probs, John.”
“Poor now?”
“Hmm. Got bob or two.”

Storm blows, drops snow. Fog blooms, blots gloom. Gordon stows loot on roof; good job. Now plots. Logs onto Opodo.com. Month from now: Tokyo, Hong Kong? Lots of world to rob.

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